The Evolution of a Heart

I haven't been able to do much writing in the last 3 weeks due to the diagnosis and watching my cousin's baby. I do have a hard copy and have edited that on and off. On Monday I'll be hitting it with full force.

I've decided this book is turning out to be a legacy. It's something I'm proud to have as a legacy. If I were to die this afternoon my husband and children would have the heart of me in their hands to refer to whenever they pleased. When my children are older and look back on their childhood and think on the unreasonable things that occurred when they were small maybe reading my book will help explain it. It may not negate it, but it could give some clarity. That's something we would all use when recalling our childhood, even if it was a good one. And maybe, the children can look at the mistakes riddled throughout the book and stay clear of making the same ones. Although my husband understands me a great deal it may still explain, not negate, some of my actions during our marriage.

If I had really grasped my mother's past long before now I think it would have given me clarity and in that clarity freedom. But, she didn't write a book or pass off her wisdom, or even speak much about herself so I was delayed a bit until she offered up a little more through the years. So, despite The Evolution of a Heart being raw and at times embarrassingly honest maybe it will be just what one or all of my children need to explain and conquer something someday.

On a different note: I am researching if self-publishing or seeking an agent. It is an exhausting thing to think about. I am thinking of seeking an agent for about 3 months and then if I don't get anywhere self-publish through amazon. There are pros and cons to it all and it is overwhelming. For the synopsis of the book click here.

God Bless You today!

The Gift of a Changed Perspective

I am watching a tiny baby for the next few weeks and I am grateful God gave me this opportunity. I am very good with babies and pretty decent with 8 years old and up; not so much 4-7 years old. BTW, I have 7 year old twin boys so I assume when they turn 8 it will dramatically change. Ha, ha.


My time with the baby reminds me of the time with my first born. No interruptions. I could hold her the entirety of a nap if I wanted. Feeding took 30 minutes but I didn't care. When she needed something the need felt so sweet and delicate. And, we can't forget the fat thighs, gooshy (is that a word?) skin, and adorable mouth! 


After school I tried to view my children as I had viewed the baby all day. I cuddled, tried to be delicate towards their needs, tried to really look at them, and I told them about when they were babies. One of my boys was embarrassed but I saw him secretly smile. I told the boys I hadn't soaked up as much of them as I had wanted and it made me very sad if I thought about it so I tried not to. One of them said "it's okay, you can still do it." Out of the mouths of babes.


I am not very good at treasuring things. I have to sit down and logically think about and list my blessings. I wish it came more naturally. I guess the trick is sitting down more often to think about them so I can approach life with those blessings in mind. And they are a blessing, even if I'm not great at parenting. Even when I am assured the boys have a conspiracy to fray my nerves and destroy each other. Even if some of it was taken away because of the need to simply survive it. Anyhow, that's what grand children are for right?


Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18