Monday, February 20, 2012

MANIC MONDAYS (pun shamefully intended)

Due to icy roads I didn't make it to my second psychiatric appointment so my dosage has stayed the same, but I go tomorrow.

I notice a difference and I think once the dosage is increased a bit it will be even better. I am less on edge, not as quick to react, and less moody. Also, I'm not as overwhelmed about the mundane things. I am sure my children and husband are relieved yet waiting for the ball to drop. I'll be glad when there is no ball to drop but simply general, average things that would irritate anyone. What I am most relieved about is how much less I yell. I didn't spend my days yelling but it seemed to my first reaction to tension. I am able to talk and reason with the children more which feels peaceful.

Someone asked me about my first post talking about the disorder. They specifically wanted to know what I meant by stating "And the peace in God that is already inside can come out and be celebrated." They reasoned if peace in God is inside then the inability to display and celebrate may mean the peace doesn't really exist.

The peace in God I feel on the inside is stifled by the depression, anger, paranoia, and moodiness that has clouded my mind. Some of these things can be controlled by being optimistic and having faith; but a lot of it, because of the disorder, overrides any reasonableness I have in my relationship with God. So, I KNOW and FEEL peace in my heart and mind but the symptoms of the disorder untreated take precedence. So, the peace is somewhat of an underlying peace waiting to break out. I hope I've explained it well.

"the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;" Numbers 6:25


  1. I have bipolar and I think that optimism and faith can play a big role in managing my bipolar. I have learned a lot about controlling my symptoms at It offers a lot of great information and I recommend that anyone wanting to get their bipolar in control check it out.